And in Hollywood - Where reality is just another thing you fake

My daughter and I were arguing about Britney Spears and her latest oops moment. She told me there’s nothing wrong with Britney Spears’ clothes and I agreed. The problem is that she isn’t wearing them!

Gwyneth Paltrow keeps putting her foot in her mouth. She says she doesn’t remember saying “The British are much more intelligent and civilized than the Americans.” And I believe her. I mean, after six martinis I have memory problems too.

Gwyneth Paltrow is a nice little Hollywood star though and into Hollywood star things like protecting people. A friend told her that he had 1000 shares of a stock that had split and she wisely advised him he had a right to return them for a full refund.

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Inconvenient Quotes

“And on the seventh day God rested. That’s when he asked me to take over.”

Today’s pundit: Benjamin Franklin (American Statesman 1706-1790):

“We must, indeed, all hang together or, most assuredly, we shall all hang separately.”

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News Fit to Quip Remember - no one is perfect - until they write their campaign literature of course

In 2006 Rumsfeld resigned, Bolton resigned and the Democrats won control of Congress. Well, Bush is telling people he had a premonition things might go NOWHERE in 2006 - now he feels like he’s there and he’s two years early.

A “bipartisan” commission has served up a bleak assessment on Iraq saying the USA needs an urgent diplomatic attempt to stabilize the country - Translation: grovel now - or be bombed later.

This Iraq Report is just another push to move Bush away from the job of forming policy and into the position of “REPUBLICAN SPOKES MODEL.”

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Report From Liliputian Land - Where it’s the ANNOYING who inherit the earth

Pete Costello was indicted for fraud in Tacoma, Washington, for faking mental retardation. His defense is his mother made him do it - her HMO would only cover him if he was sick from the ankles down or the head up.

Iraqi Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki is finally getting the hang of politics. He’s inviting Iraq’s neighbors to a regional conference on violence despite opposition by some key political allies. Seems the opponents were miffed at how the invitation spelled out exactly how much quality time a dinar could buy.

At least they talked him out of using chain letters for his quid pro quo requests.

But al-Maliki still wants to get his name listed with “BEST BUYS” and in a little throwaway called “LOOP HOLES.”

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Sleaze-noid News With two sides to every story - Local and Network

Well it was a kiss-kiss fest during the confirmation of Robert Gates as the new secretary of defense. Let’s hope Gates isn’t the kind who comes to Washington to do well and simply ends up well-to-do.

Carl Levin, D-Mich said he voted yes on Robert Gates as the new secretary of defense because Gates seemed open to course correction. That’s Demo talk for “A Will to Lose.”

Carl Levin is something of an oily character. Still he doesn’t have a dandruff problem - it all slides off.

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The Chicken Little Report - The weather - brought to you by Bossy - and a good MOOO to you!

They’re forecasting that temperatures are going to warm up a little after the devastating ice and snow storms of last week. That’s good news. Now I’m not saying that I was COLD last week - but when was the last time YOU got chapped tonsils.

A report from China says that 90 percent of Chinese cities have polluted groundwater. Which explains why when locals take a sip of water, they have to chew.

The Global Warmest want to put you in jail if you don’t become “carbon neutral” and remove as much carbon dioxide from the atmosphere as possible. Problem with that is carbon dioxide is NECESSARY FOR LIFE. Personally I think they have a hidden agenda and want to make sure that only their fellow cockroaches survive.

Remember kiddies: Water vapour constitutes 95% of greenhouse gases by volume…Humanity’s … contribution to the atmosphere’s CO2 load is actually less than half of 1% … Emissions of our civilization (are) dwarfed by the 210 GT/year emissions from Earth’s oceans and land.

“The gods are laughing” Tom Harris, National Post Published: Wednesday, June 07, 2006

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