And in Hollywood - Where reality is just another thing you fake

Trump blasted the Iraq War as a ‘Total Disaster’. Well I guess it takes a disaster to know a disaster.

Kevin Federline said his new commercial doesn’t mock fast food workers and he had nothing to do with any threats against his ex - Britney Spears. But something’s going on. Now when she goes out in public Spears wears a disguise - clothes.

Too many Hollywood types must be frustrated teachers. Explains all the lectures at Sundance disguised as entertainment.

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Inconvenient Quotes

“And on the seventh day God rested. That’s when he asked me to take over.”

Today’s pundit: Joe Mirachi - Cartoonist for The New Yorker (1936-2007)

Dedicated to Senator Joe Biden and his foot-in-the-mouth moment concerning his “Clean” new pal Sen. Barack Obama.

Early today the senator called a spade a spade. He later issued a retraction. Joe Mirachi - Cartoonist for The New Yorker (1936-2007)

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News Fit to Quip Remember - no one is perfect - until they write their campaign literature of course

The Dems say they’re going to stop the war and then move on to their next project -reforming Gitmo. They’re going to take out the bars and just have a sign that says, PLEASE DO NOT LEAVE THROUGH THIS EXIT.

The Dems idea of bipartisan politics is that when you agree with them - you may come right out and say so.

Republican Sen. Arlen Specter told Bush he wasn’t the sole decider on the war in Iraq. The WAY he did it though has people wondering. Seems the note he sent to Bush was addressed to Former Occupant.

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Report From Liliputian Land - Where it’s the ANNOYING who inherit the earth

Sen. John Kerry called the United States “an international pariah.” And he can’t stand Bush either. But that’s not hard to understand. The last president Kerry did like chopped down a cherry tree.

Kerry was quite the hit in Davos, Switzerland after stabbing the US in the back. But that’s Kerry for ya. Always lights up a country when he leaves it.

But Kerry IS willing to reconcile with Bush. Turns out he has insults he hasn’t used yet.

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Sleaze-noid News With two sides to every story - Local and Network

It’s “Mahdi” time again. Iran is publishing how-to guides for spotting the arrival of a cute little 12 year old dead kid who’s coming back to make the world a better place for Islam. That’s right he’s coming soon - to a bomb toting nightmare near you.

Now these “Mahdi” guides just may be a diversion for the people of Iran. Seems they elected Ahmadinejad to fix the economy. They keep looking for prosperity around the corner but only see Mahdi-land. So to cut expenses, there’s a movement to pay officials what they’re worth, but nobody thinks Ahmadinejad would work that cheap.

Iran’s president, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad keeps telling the people that simple pleasures are the best. And Ahmadinejad is about as simple as you can get.

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The Chicken Little Report - The weather - brought to you by Bossy - and a good MOOO to you!

Cold? Just to stay warm Hillary and Bill are sleeping together.

Two New Books Confirm Global Warming Is Natural, Moderate

Two powerful new books say today’s global warming is due not to human activity but primarily to a long, moderate solar-linked cycle. “Unstoppable Global Warming Every 1500 Years,” by physicist Fred Singer and economist Dennis Avery was released just before Christmas. “The Chilling Stars: A New Theory of Climate Change,” by Danish physicist Henrik Svensmark and former BBC science writer Nigel Calder (Icon Books), is due out in March.

Singer and Avery note that most of the earth’s recent warming occurred before 1940, and thus before much human-emitted CO2. Moreover, physical evidence shows 600 moderate warmings in the earth’s last million years. The evidence ranges from ancient Nile flood records, Chinese court documents and Roman wine grapes to modern spectral analysis of polar ice cores, deep seabed sediments and layered cave stalagmites.

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And in Hollywood - Where reality is just another thing you fake

Bestiality, child rape, violence - some of the new flicks premiering at the Sundance Film Festival are so grim, they had to replace the EXIT signs with ESCAPE signs.

The only consistent standing ovation at the festival was for the intermission.

In the 60’s the call went out. Freaks of the World Unit! They did and are now producing flicks for Sundance!

Robert Redford kicked off the festival with a politically charged speech demanding Bush apologize for the Iraq war. Hey, Redford, I’ve got a couple of minutes to waste, tell me ALL you know.

Redford is unique. He only became an actor while he waited for his big break as a waiter.

You know, I don’t think we’ll ever have a chance until the American public gets their noses out of bad movies and into a few accurate history books.

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Inconvenient Quotes

“And on the seventh day God rested. That’s when he asked me to take over.”

Today’s pundit: Heinrich Heine (1797-1856)

One should forgive one’s enemies, but not before they are hanged.

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News Fit to Quip Remember - no one is perfect - until they write their campaign literature of course

Hillary Clinton was a little off last night during the State of the Union address. When they announced the president of the United States, she absent mindedly stood up and started towards the podium.

The State of the Union address was treated by the Dems as a B.Y.O.N. party - Bring Your Own Noose!

And the Dems’ response to the State of the Union is about as reassuring as one from a faith healer at death’s door.

Bush’s popularity is falling through the floor if you believe the polls. It’s gotten to the point that if Bush blew a police whistle for help - they’d probably arrest him for disturbing the peace.

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Report From Liliputian Land - Where it’s the ANNOYING who inherit the earth

The Senate Foreign Relations Committee voted that President Bush’s planned troop surge is “not in the national interest of the United States.” In fact, the Dems have finally come up with a plan for dealing with Iraq: surrender.

AL-QAEDA’S Ayman al-Zawahiri, likes the Dems ideas and has sent a message to Bush suggesting that if he goes through with the surge, he just as soon send our entire army over for annihilation. But that doesn’t phase the Dems. For them, it’s always more blessed to be glib than to perceive.

I guess that’s the reason why, with the Dems at the helm, I feel like I’m on a suicide watch.

Judge, can I go out and play? Chicago Bears defensive tackle Tank Johnson got the court’s okay to play in the Super Bowl. Tank has obeyed the requirements of his home confinement for gun possession, although his parole officer did find a gumball machine in his house that dispensed bullets.

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