And in Hollywood - Where reality is just another thing you fake

After yawning my way through the Oscars, I decided the Chinese are right. It really IS the year of the bore.

Gore’s gone Hollywood and thinks the Little People should be carbon neutral while Gore’s mansion near Nashville uses twice the electricity and natural gas EVERY MONTH that the average Little Person uses in an entire year. Yep - Just another ‘I am God - hear me bore!’ - Hollywood star.

I guess it was appropriate for Gore to be at the Oscars. Al is very much like a character from the movie “Night of the Living Dead” - but without the charm.

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Inconvenient Quotes

“And on the seventh day God rested. That’s when he asked me to take over.”

Today’s pundit: Ross MacDonald (1915-1983)

Nothing is wrong with Southern California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn’t cure.

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News Fit to Quip Remember - no one is perfect - until they write their campaign literature of course

I can only describe my experience in the stock market this week with a four-letter word - “ouch.”

The good news is that I took most of my money out of the stock market just before yesterday’s big drop. The bad news is I invested it all in the John Murtha School of How to Win Friends and Influence People.

It was easy to ID a stock market investor on Tuesday. They were the ones with a Wall Street Journal in one hand and a bottle of Valium in the other.

And Stock Brokers revealed just how much they’re like most women shoppers. When the Stock Market dumps a big one they scream - SALE!

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Report From Liliputian Land - Where it’s the ANNOYING who inherit the earth

The Brits were threatening to take custody of a little boy unless his mom put him on a diet. I guess Orwell got it wrong. The Brits don’t have to worry about Big Brother. It’s Big Nanny they’ve gotta watch!

Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez ordered the takeover of foreign oil companies. That Chavez is some card, huh. Let’s face it. There are just some acts you’ll never see featured on David Letterman’s Stupid People Tricks.

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Sleaze-noid News With two sides to every story - Local and Network

Pelosi said the the Dems would preside over “the most ethical Congress in history.” That’s why she put bribery suspect Rep. William ‘What - $90,000 in MY Freezer?’ Jefferson on the Homeland Security Committee. I guess for San Francisco Rep. Pelosi, an unnatural act is telling the truth.

Seems Ms. Hillary ‘I Want to Be Your Prez’ Clinton is a little shy - about disclosing a foundation that has allowed her to take a tax write off of over $5 million. Just a little oversight says her camp as they raced to amended Hillary’s Senate ethics reports for the last five years. Oh, well. Money can’t buy happiness. But like ol’ Hil says, it CAN put a substantial down payment on it!

This is forcing the Dems to root out any possible cause for scandal. And it looks like they’re off to a good start. They just fired one staffer who tested positive for traces of integrity.

Kennedy, McCain are dunking for voters again. They want the current crop of 12 million illegals converted into citizens. And to show they’re on America’s side, they’ll let us have the 700-mile border fence - just not the money to fund it. And they’ll double the size of the US Border Patrol - but will only allow one bullet per officer. They figure this will make the public change their mind - for one that doesn’t work!

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The Chicken Little Report - The weather - brought to you by Bossy - and a good MOOO to you!

Cold? Decorators have created a new interior decorating style -modern igloo.

Despite Global Warmest predictions, East Antarctica is getting colder and Greenland is experiencing extremely thick ice packs and low temperatures. Oh well, I guess the problem with Global Warming is - it just ain’t GLOBAL!

Global Warming: The Cold, Hard Facts?
By Timothy Ball
CanadaFreePress.com

Global Warming, as we think we know it, doesn’t exist. And I am not the only one trying to make people open up their eyes and see the truth. But few listen, despite the fact that I was one of the first Canadian Ph.Ds. in Climatology and I have an extensive background in climatology, especially the reconstruction of past climates and the impact of climate change on human history and the human condition. Few listen, even though I have a Ph.D, (Doctor of Science) from the University of London, England and was a climatology professor at the University of Winnipeg. For some reason (actually for many), the World is not listening…

As Lindzen said many years ago: “the consensus was reached before the research had even begun.” Now, any scientist who dares to question the prevailing wisdom is marginalized and called a sceptic, when in fact they are simply being good scientists. This has reached frightening levels with these scientists now being called climate change denier with all the holocaust connotations of that word. The normal scientific method is effectively being thwarted…

I was greatly influenced several years ago by Aaron Wildavsky’s book “Yes, but is it true?” The author taught political science at a New York University and realized how science was being influenced by and apparently misused by politics. He gave his graduate students an assignment to pursue the science behind a policy generated by a highly publicised environmental concern. To his and their surprise they found there was little scientific evidence, consensus and justification for the policy. You only realize the extent to which Wildavsky’s findings occur when you ask the question he posed. Wildavsky’s students did it in the safety of academia and with the excuse that it was an assignment. I have learned it is a difficult question to ask in the real world, however I firmly believe it is the most important question to ask if we are to advance in the right direction.

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And in Hollywood - Where reality is just another thing you fake

Are you getting bored with all this in-fighting over who gets Anna Nicole Smith’s body? Heck, during yesterday’s ‘Anna Nicole Smith news-a-thon,’ even my dog was yawning.

Everybody is really worried about Britney Spears now that she’s walked out rehab again. A lot of people are calling Child Protection Services on her kids. Seems they they’re afraid the next news flash about Spears just might be along the lines of “Honey, I SOLD the kids!”.

You know the real reason Britney Spears shaved her head. She was trying to be economical. Now she can do her teeth AND her hair with the same brush!.

Brit Actor Ralph Fiennes is red face after being caught playing hide the salami in mid air with a Qantas flight attendant. Now people all over England are raising their eyebrows and saying, “HIM! He sleeps with women?”.

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Inconvenient Quotes

“And on the seventh day God rested. That’s when he asked me to take over.”

Today’s pundit: Flip Wilson

The cost of living is going up and the chance of living is going down.

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News Fit to Quip Remember - no one is perfect - until they write their campaign literature of course

Putin’s getting tough. Say’s if the USA installs a missile defense system in Russia’s former client states of Eastern Europe, Russia just might be forced to nuke ‘em. And if USA puts it in by St Patrick’s Day, don’t be surprised if you find Poland and the Czech Republic suffering the ultimate in horror - buried neck deep in a slab of hardened corn beef and cabbage!

The people around Putin are getting paranoid since one of Putin’s fellow spys Alexander Litvinenko died from radiation poisoning. One poor KGB official cautioned Condi Rice not to talk too loud. “I think my spine is tapped!”

Putin thinks he can get away with anything. But that’s only because he’s blessed with ‘extra sensory DECEPTION.’

Thousands are fleeing Venezuela now that President Hugo Chavez’s ‘Maximum Revolution’ has started. And even Chavez’s closest advisers are on the run. Seems that last time Chavez offered one of them a smoke - he meant at the stake.

Now, I’m not saying Chavez is a mental midget, but rumor is that his I.Q. starts with a decimal point.

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Report From Liliputian Land - Where it’s the ANNOYING who inherit the earth

I thought crime in New Orleans had gone down. I never thought I’d see the day when a Mardi Gras float had to SPRINT through the city.

New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin - now there’s a guy you got to give credit to… and more credit… and more credit… and more credit…

The Dems failed in the Senate to pass their Stop The Troops From Winning Bill. Seems a certain Senator refused to lower his price.

Notice how some politicians are no longer supporting a democratic Iraq? They had a change of heart when they realized Iraqis couldn’t vote in their district.

Malaysia wants average joes to spy on unmarried lovers so the Islamic religious thugs can go and beat ‘em up. That’s one of the advantages of living in a Muslim country, you always have your finger on the pulse of Hell.

Nancy Pelosi wants tuition breaks for illegal aliens. I guess it’s a new twist to an old political truism. You know - commit a crime - get a job.

I don’t care what they say. I do believe the Dems want this country to move one step forward. Of course, that’s only after we’ve moved 12 steps backward.

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