And in Hollywood - Where reality is just another thing you fake

Anna Nicole Smith’s diaries sold for more than $500,000 to a German wanting to use them as the basis for a book. In one entry, Anna Nichole wrote “I hate sex.” Well, well well… who would have guess that. I suppose it was just her day job..

Mel Gibson, in resisting a hijack attempt to turn an evening discussion of his “Apocalypto” flick into a discussion on ‘did they or didn’t they cut out hearts’ told the ambushing California State assistant professor, Alicia Estrada - F**** YOU! Lady! Now the question is - if and when is Mel heading back out on the mea culpa circuit.

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Inconvenient Quotes

“And on the seventh day God rested. That’s when he asked me to take over.”

Today’s pundit: John F. Kennedy (35th US President 1961-63)

“I am sorry to say that there is too much point to the wisecrack that life is extinct on other planets because their scientists were more advanced than ours.”

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News Fit to Quip Remember - no one is perfect - until they write their campaign literature of course

Peninsula Humane Society officials in San Mateo, CA are promoting rats as ‘wonderful’ pets and suggest we adopt a few. Gee, I thought we did that every election day.

Hurry Up and DIE! Seems the docs of the transplant world are starting to see patients-bountiful instead patients in need and are snatching organs before people are “Brain-Dead”. Of course this bodes ill for our already brain dead politicians.

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Report From Liliputian Land - Where it’s the ANNOYING who inherit the earth

Must be something wrong with my calendar. I thought October was the month for witch hunts. But not so ‘cause it seems not only does Dem Henry Waxman want Bush’s balls but ours too! Waxy’s muscling through a bill, H.R. 984, which will make all executive branch communications, one-way, two-way, solicited or unsolicited, on duty, off-duty, at the mall - in BED! concerning any policy matter a reportable offense. Talk to a Republican executive branch employee and go to jail. After Waxy’s latest Inquisition on the bill, he got pissed when photographers asked him to remove his Halloween mask - and he wasn’t wearing one!

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Sleaze-noid News With two sides to every story - Local and Network

Thirty-five Women paid $2,300 per for a Bill Clinton fund raiser at NYC’s SoulCycle last week. And all they got was a lousy t-shirt - to cover their skimpy workout clothes. Now, were the organizers concerned about decorum - or did they just want to make sure the attendees got out alive.

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The Chicken Little Report - The weather - brought to you by Bossy - and a good MOOO to you!

NEWS FLASH! France opened up their secret UFO files covering the last 50 years and found Al Gore’s landing papers!

“The scientific consensus is clear on Global Warming” - but only if you’re deaf, dumb and blind or Katie Couric. (Sorta like when the scientific consensus was The Earth is FLAT?)

There’s a new psycho-babble word ‘eco-anxiety’ as in ‘can’t eat, can’t sleep - Global Warming’s gonna get me!’ Not too surprising development for a generation who’s favorite sport is group therapy.

Media Shows Irrational Hysteria On Global Warming

“In 1995, I published a short paper in the academic journal Science. In that study, I reviewed how borehole temperature data recorded a warming of about one degree Celsius in North America over the last 100 to 150 years. The week the article appeared, I was contacted by a reporter for National Public Radio. He offered to interview me, but only if I would state that the warming was due to human activity. When I refused to do so, he hung up on me.

Associate professor at the University of Oklahoma David Deming’s testimony (in part) before a special hearing of the Senate Environment and Public Works Committee December 6, 2006

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And in Hollywood - Where reality is just another thing you fake

Zsa Zsa’s hubby, Frederic (adopted but no Prince) von Anhalt is suing for defamation of character after Bill (The Mouth) O’Reilly called him a fraud. Now the little prince is getting dirty looks. Excuse ME! - but to sue for defamation of character- don’t you need some character FIRST!

There must be something in the water over at “The View” First Rosie O’Donnell defends 9/11 mastermind Khalid Sheikh Mohammed by saying the USA must have tortured the poor guy into confessing and treated the man like an animal. This is same animal who, among other things, claims to have personally beheaded Wall Street Journal reporter Daniel Pearl in 2002. Then there’s Barbara Walters’ interview with sweetie-pie dictator Hugo Chavez whom she called “dignified… passionate… and intelligent.” Where did these two learn how to think, at the “One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest” University?

Queen of Parody Carol Burnet is suing 20th Century Fox for having the nerve to parody her parody. Seems 13 seconds of her Charwoman as a porno-shop maid in the cartoon series Family Guy (known for lampooning celebrities) ain’t funny to this funny lady. Saw a picture of Carol. Looks like a million - every year of it.

‘Star Wars’ Droid R2-D2 goes postal! In a joint effort between the U.S. Postal Service and Lucasfilm, starting this Friday in 200 cities, you can mail your commemorative “Star Wars” stamp in a R2-D2 collection box. So for the next three weeks, don your Darth Vader outfit, pickup your Obi-Wan Light Saber and may the force be with you (and your snail mail) as you STUFF IT.

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Inconvenient Quotes

“And on the seventh day God rested. That’s when he asked me to take over.”

Today’s pundit: Winston Churchill (1874-1965), British statesman, writer

“In war, you can only be killed once, but in politics, many times.”

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News Fit to Quip Remember - no one is perfect - until they write their campaign literature of course

Bad mood rising. Bush told the Dems he wouldn’t allow “a partisan fishing expedition aimed at honorable public servants…” a.k.a. embattled attorney general, Alberto Gonzales. The Dems response was the same o’ same ‘o Better Government Through Indictment - preferably of Republicans.

The Senate voted overwhelmingly Tuesday to undermine the Executive Branch’s role to unilaterally fill U.S. attorney positions in order to make way for the same kind of deadlock that has blocked most of President Bush Judicial Nominees to the Bench. However, Dems assured President Bush that he would still have the last word in Executive Branch matters - just as long as that word is I SURRENDER!

Some politicians in Minnesota want to give non-citizens the right to vote. “Illegal immigrants would not be included in the voting plan, officials said.” Yeah, right. Debasing the concept of citizen works well for politicians trawling the bottom for votes. It’s sorta like the Liberal’s idea of a patriotic hymn. You know, “This land is (anybody else’s BUT) your land.”

Presidential wanna-be Mitt Romney, fumbled in Miami when he ended his speech with the slogan Patria o muerte, venceremos! Fidel Castro’s famous call “Fatherland or death, we shall overcome” The Cuban-American’s who risked death to escape dictator Castro’s Cuba weren’t amused. No, not a laughing matter unless Romney was really trying to Win Friends and Influence CUBANS!

John McCain told The Sunday Telegraph if he wins the White House, he’ll fix the world’s view of the ‘ugly American’ . So what does that mean? A face lift in every American’s pot?

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Report From Liliputian Land - Where it’s the ANNOYING who inherit the earth

Former CIA officer, Valerie Plame testified before congress this week that the White House had leaked her name for “purely political motives.” Right… I guess the only one allowed to put politics into covert operations, “Who’s Who in America,” book deals and the movies is Ms. Plame and her dorky husband Joe Wilson.

A Muslim group in Trenton, NJ says they’re Space Alien Diplomats from the Abannaki Indigenous Nation, are claiming immunity from U.S. laws (which they call a slave state) and they can sell their drugs if they want to - so there. The local cops aren’t buying. You know, these Space Aliens are ripe for a long career in politics. They know it’s not whether you win or lose - it’s how you spin the game.

Eco-terrorists want to snuff an orphan baby bear - for it’s own good of course. Frank Albrecht says, “The zoo should kill the baby bear… it is condemning the bear to a dysfunctional life …” Right. And people like you function JUST FINE. Oh, well. Just another case of Bull Shit Spoken Here.

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