Inconvenient Quotes

“And on the seventh day God rested. That’s when he asked me to take over.”

Merry Christmas 2007

Today’s pundit: Isaiah - Prophet of God

“Again the Lord spoke to Ahaz” Ask for a sign from the Lord, your God; let it be deep as the nether world, or high as the sky! But Ahaz answered, “I will not ask! I will not tempt the Lord!” Then he said: Listen, O house of David! Is it not enough for you to weary men, must you also weary my God? Therefore the Lord himself will give you this sign: the virgin shall be with child, and bear a son, and shall name him Immanuel. He shall be living on curds and honey by the time he learns to reject the bad and choose the good. (Isaiah 7:11-15)

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And in Hollywood - Where reality is just another thing you fake

Falling apart or just a Memorex moment? The ever increasingly weird Michael Jackson was spotted Christmas shopping with the kids in Vegas wrapped from head to toe. And what couldn’t be wrapped was plastered with Band-Aids. So is the Gloved One’s face falling off or has he just had another touch of plastic surgery? Only his mortician knows for sure.

Being a multimillionaire is a dog’s life, if you’re the deceased Leona Helmsley’s pup that is. Got $12 million of Helmsley’s $4 billion estate, spends $300,000 a year for the bare necessities and now the poor pooch has its very own lawsuit. Former Helmsley housekeeper, Zamfira Sfara, is trying her luck again and is suing for dog-abuse. That dog - abusing her. When Helmsley was alive the first lawsuit was thrown out. But now that she’s dead, Zamfira is hoping the dog is not as a savvy as his mistress in legal matters. But she better hurry. Seems the dog is a spendthrift. For instance, the pooch doesn’t have his car washed, he has it dry-cleaned.

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Inconvenient Quotes

“And on the seventh day God rested. That’s when he asked me to take over.”

Today’s pundit: Terence Jeffrey (CNSNews Editor-in-Chief) on Waterboarding

“Sensible Americans should have just two words for CIA officers who got information from Abu Zubaydah that ‘probably saved lives’: Thank you.”

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News Fit to Quip Remember - no one is perfect - until they write their campaign literature of course

Ooooo - pretty! - AWFUL! China has taken cheap to new lows. Government controlled China Daily is reporting that used condoms are being recycled into hair ties and rubber bands. A dermatologist at the Guangzhou Hospital of Armed Police who didn’t really want to be identified, commented on it. “There are a lot of bacteria and viruses on the rubber bands and hair ties made from used condoms. People could be infected with AIDS, warts or other diseases if they hold the rubber bands or strings in their mouths while weaving their hair into plaits or buns.” Heard China’s businesses are becoming more sensitive to their customer’s needs though and are putting a little something extra into every package they sell - Last Will and Testament kits.

China’s powerhouse economy is awesome - until you crunch the numbers. For the first time since 1985, China gave the World Bank info to be included in the bank’s ranking of world economies report and China’s got whacked by 40%. Using “purchasing power parity” (PPP) they took China’s 14% production figure and slashed it to 9%. China’s still number 2 to the USA’s number 1 rank which slipped 6% to 23% production muscle. Morgan Stanley Asia’ s chairman, Stephen S. Roach, says don’t put too much hope in China and India saving the world’s economic butt if USA consumers go on a spending diet. “There is hope that young consumers from rapidly growing developing economies can fill the void left by weakness in American consumers. Don’t count on it. American consumers spent close to $9.5 trillion over the last year. Chinese consumers spent around $1 trillion and Indians spent $650 billion. It is almost mathematically impossible for China and India to offset a pullback in American consumption.” Yep, China is handling the report like it does its counterfeiting problem - with kid gloves. Doesn’t want to leave any finger prints.

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Report From Liliputian Land - Where it’s the ANNOYING who inherit the earth

With a little help from my friends? That just may be the theme song for Argentine’s new president, Cristina Fernandez. Guess Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez couldn’t resist a pretty face. The FED’s have on tape that “the top of the Venezuelan government” sent $800,000 in cash to help grease Cristina’s rise to power. The four bagmen carrying the cash are now on trial for being illegal Venezuelan agents who tried to cover up their misdeeds by intimidating a witness. But Chavez ain’t taking this lying down. His mouth piece, Foreign Minister Nicolas Maduro called it nothing more than “a desperate effort by the United States government using… the judicial branch for a political, psychological, media war against the progressive governments of the continent.” While the alleged recipient of the $800,000, wife of Argentine’s former president Nestor Kirchner and newly elected president, Cristina Fernandez, called it “garbage in international politics.” Cristina’s snappy reply inspired Argentine’s Underground Gourmet to rated the stink coming from Cristina’s new administration - Four Flies.

Guess self-defense is only allowed to be practiced by politicians trying to hold on to power. The USA and ordinary citizens can forget about it. In 2002 there was a secret meeting to inform Congress what’s what with CIA’s terrorist suspect interrogations. At the time, a bipartisan group which included House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) didn’t bat an eyelash at what they’re now calling torture - waterboarding. In fact according to the Washington Post’s Joby Warrick and Dan Eggan, “no objections were raised. Instead, at least two lawmakers in the room asked the CIA to push harder, two U.S. officials said.” Not that waterboarding is worth a tinker’s damn anymore since every terrorist thug on the planet now knows it’s nothing but a psychological trick and they ain’t gonna die. So why talk? If the Happy Hollywood Dems keep hanging around our political necks like this, we’re gonna have to trade-in the Bald Eagle for an albatross.

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Sleaze-noid News With two sides to every story - Local and Network

Like Boy Scouts, those reporting for the Associated Press pledge to, “abhor inaccuracies, carelessness, bias or distortions. It means we will not knowingly introduce false information into material intended for publication or broadcast; nor will we alter photo or image content. Quotations must be accurate, and precise.” And they will, unless they don’t. Clinging to “no formal charge” yet filed against their photographer Bilal Hussein, an Associated Press report left out the unfortunate fact that Hussein got arrested while in the company of a known al Qaeda terrorist. Writing for NewsBusters.org, Bob Owens noted, “AP editor Kim Gamel cannot claim to be avoiding bias and a conflict of interest when interviewing AP spokesman Paul Colford about the trial of AP employee Bilal Hussein. In what alternate universe is it acceptable for a journalist to interview a senior staffer in the same news organization about a fellow employee?” And then there’s the odd way AP reports suicide bombings in Israel now. They’ve started calling them do-it-yourself cremations.

Time magazine has named Russian President Vladimir Putin as their “Person of the Year” for his “extraordinary feat of leadership in taking a country that was in chaos and bringing it stability.” Last time they praised a rising dictator was in 1939 when Time picked Adolf Hitler as the most influential man of 1938. And Putin? What else CAN a sycophant say about a man who broke every law in Russia - except for the law of averages?

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The Chicken Little Report - The weather - brought to you by Bossy - and a good MOOO to you!

Ah, what ten years and a Nobel Prize can do to your memory. To cheers and wild applause, Al Gore told our would be UN Global Warming Masters meeting in Bali that “My own country the United States is principally responsible for obstructing progress in Bali.” And why? Because the Bush administration wants developing nations to pitch in and help on their end - no free CO2 rides. The USA wants to wait for “meaningful participation by key developing nations.” Oh, no - wait! My bad. That wasn’t the Bush administration, that quote is from Clinton administration VP, Al Gore in December 1997. Heard Al traveled by train to get his Nobel but had to take a private jet to the Bali conference. It’s the only way he had enough room for his carry-on ego.

Ethanol Loses Ground at U.N. Climate Conference: Congress Should Rethink Energy Bill Mandate
by Nick Loris and Alison Acosta Fraser
December 17, 2007

Congress and the Administration are overlooking the following problems with ethanol:

* High Food Costs. Despite the increased production, the corn producers are directing their supply of corn away from other industries, particularly food. At the supermarket, consumers have noticed skyrocketing prices for beef, poultry, and dairy products. Prices have also increased for soda and many other products containing corn syrup. As a result of the mandate, the U.S. Department of Agriculture predicts that the upward pressure on the food prices will continue for years to come.[2] The current proposal to expand the ethanol mandate would severely exacerbate this problem.

* Dubious Effects on the Environment. The claim that ethanol production is good for the environment is misleading for a number of reasons. First, transporting ethanol is costlier and requires more energy than transporting other fuels. Ethanol must be transported by petroleum-using trucks, barges, and railroads, because any moisture in the pipelines will contaminate the ethanol and make it virtually useless.[3] Second, planting corn requires farmers to use a number of pesticides and fertilizers that harm the environment. 1995 Nobel Laureate P.J. Crutzen concluded that the nitrous oxide emitted from biofuel production contributes as much or more to global warming than the cooling caused by fossil fuel reduction.[4] Third, the proposed mandate would lead to greatly expanded ethanol production; consequently, more acreage would be shifted to corn–either by clearing forestland or by converting farmland previously used to grow products like soybeans or wheat.[5] The first option would damage the environment through deforestation; the second would push food prices even higher.

* Problems Noted by the Bali Climate Conference. The costly effects of biofuel mandates are resonating not only with consumers but also professionals in positions to influence policy. One survey presented at the Bali conference polled 1,000 respondents from 105 countries. When respondents were asked to rate the energy technologies in terms of their potential to reduce carbon levels over the subsequent 25 years, first-generation biofuels from agricultural crops finished dead last out of 19 possible choices.[6] First-generation biofuels have been disparaged even in Bali, yet Washington continues to propose higher mandates that would be detrimental to consumers and the environment.

A Second Look at Second-Generation Biofuels

Knowing that first-generation fuels are losing credibility as an efficient energy solution, advocates of biofuels are beginning to consider second-generation biofuels. Second-generation biofuels constitute fuel generated from forest and field waste, switchgrass, crop residues, and cellulosic biomass. Interestingly, second-generation biofuels were ranked seventh by respondents to the aforementioned survey.

Second-generation biofuels are far from a proven technology. Doubts abound concerning whether that they can meet energy demands and protect the environment. Foisting a new mandate before infrastructure or technology is adequately developed is misguided.

In fact, the next generation of biofuels may be as environmentally damaging as the first. A Competitive Enterprise Institute study released in June 2007 reported that no manufacturing plants exist that are capable of producing mass amounts of cellulosic ethanol. Plants can only produce enough for demonstration purposes. Additionally, distinguished agriculturalists are reluctant to endorse second-generation biofuels because of the adverse ecological effects.[7] They claim that only a portion of crop residue can be removed from fields to produce cellulosic ethanol, because that residue is imperative to recycling organic matter, retaining moisture, and preventing soil erosion on farms. Furthermore, according to an Iowa State study, switchgrass will not have the ability to compete with corn for the production of ethanol.[8] It does not bode well for the industry that the only way for corn-produced ethanol to be competitive is through preferential treatment from Washington.

Excerpted from
The Heritage Foundation
http://www.heritage.org

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And in Hollywood - Where reality is just another thing you fake

Hugo Chavez is one of Barbara Walters’ Ten Most Fascinating People of 2007. And the ABC “The View” talk-show maven is shocked that Hugo didn’t win big in Venezuela’s elections. “I was amazed that he, that he didn’t get to be president for life.” He’s such a “charismatic character.” And she put Chavez on her Ten Most Fascinating People of 2007 list because “we try to have people that do positive things.” Barb dear, when did turning a democracy into a dictatorship become a ‘positive’ thing to do. Next time talk to the people of Venezuela instead of some thug. Because if you had, you’d know that most Venezuelans would only consider it a ‘Happy’ New Year if Chavez ate breakfast in the capital and dinner in exile

NY Post’s Page Six is spreading the gossip that Paris Hilton wants Stavros Niarchos back BAD. So bad she supposedly followed the Greek shipping heir from place to place after running into him at South Beach’s Mansion. There a Page Six’s source said, “Paris beelined for Stavros, but he was chatting up Caroline. He was completely ignoring Paris, and she was furious. She shot them evil looks and finally stormed up to them and started screaming at Caroline.” The next night she trailed him around again finally confronting them at Mokai reported another source, “Paris saw that Stavros was with a girl, and she went crazy. She literally stood on Stavros’ table and began screaming at him. Then she started dancing and trying to get his attention.” When the shipping heir and gal pal moved on to another club, “Paris went to great lengths trying to get Stavros’ date kicked out, begging club security to get rid of the girl. Paris was so furious, she ended up walking up to the girl and just punched her.” Wow. But Paris’ rep begs to differ, “Paris was at both clubs but at no time physically struck anyone. These accusations are completely false.” The rep also denied that the Blond One tried talking a cop out of giving her a ticket for parking next to a fire hydrant because ‘Big red trucks to it ALL the time!’

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Inconvenient Quotes

“And on the seventh day God rested. That’s when he asked me to take over.”

Today’s pundit: Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, DL (22 May 1859–7 July 1930) Scottish physician and author, creator of Sherlock Holmes

“I never guess. It is a capital mistake to theorize before one has data. Insensibly one begins to twist facts to suit theories, instead of theories to suit facts.”

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News Fit to Quip Remember - no one is perfect - until they write their campaign literature of course

Hey gringo - I don’t need no stinking English to vote. And Univision viewers don’t need GOP presidential candidate Tom Tancredo either. The Spanish language channel hosted their first Republican debate Sunday simultaneously translating the viewers questions into English and then the gringo’s English into Spanish. Well, except Tancredo who was boycotting the proceedings. “It is the law that to become a naturalized citizen of this country you must have knowledge and understanding of English, including a basic ability to read, write, and speak the language. So what may I ask are our presidential candidates doing participating in a Spanish speaking debate?” Ummmm good question. Not that Spanish is the only flavor you can find on a ballot near you. Chinese, Japanese, Korean, Tagalog, and Vietnamese are just a few of the flavors available on the Left Coast. Hey Tom, do you think we’ve gotten to the point where USA politicians need a passport to run for office?

Bush is getting some heat for his suggested ‘freeze’ on subprime adjustable rate mortgages. House Financial Services Committee member, Rep. Spencer Bachus (R - AL) doesn’t like it at all. “My biggest concern is that there are a lot of Americans who are making their mortgage payments, they are current, and the benefit won’t go to them. It will go to people who are behind on their mortgage payments. It’s very problematic when the government starts dictating changes to existing contracts.” Which brings us to the recent explosion in mortgage fraud. According to the Financial Crimes Enforcement Network, mortgage loan fraud increased by 1,411 percent between 1997 and 2005. And went up an additional 35% in 2005. The FBI found the 3,515 suspicious mortgages in 2000 had jumped to 28,000 in 2006. The FBI estimates in that 2006 alone, fraud cost the banking industry $946 million to $4.3 billion in losses. Of course these are the same morons who made the loans in the first place. Which explains why some of the biggest banks are in the corporate hospital. They spent so much time drooling over their ‘profits’ that an even trickier class of profiteers stepped on their tongues.

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