Dedicated to Freedom of Satire "We hold these jokes to be self evident that all situations are created funny"
News Fit to Quip Remember - no one is perfect - until they write their campaign literature of course
WELCOME TO THE NEW POLITICAL FUNNIES!
1. Obama has been having a lot of foot-in-the mouth moments lately. First he told a bunch of football players he’s the MAN to be president. That he’s so macho, has to shave with a hammer and chisel.
2. Then Obama tried to make a group of Iranian Americans feel good. He said he’s proud things have loosed up so much in Iran. They now have a League of Women Voters - run by men.
3. Finally Obama attended a meet and greet party for Women Who Lose Their Inhibitions When They Drink support group. It was a cheese and wine tasting event.
4. The secret is out. When Obama mingles with small town America he always wears his lucky t-shirt, “I’m with Stupid!”
5. Poor Hillary. She’s stumping so hard for president that at the end of the day, she can hardly keep her mouth open.
6. Bush gave a speech on Global Warming today. Told Congress to, “Put down the hookah pipe - Step out of your delusion - Put both feet on the planet Earth - NOW!”
7. Paul McCartney has been very careful not to trash his ex - Heather Mills. But rumors are flying. Supposedly Sir Paul said, “Except for the few times Heather got so mad she wouldn’t talk to me, life was one long nightmare.”
8. Paul said he didn’t have trouble with anniversary dates. He could remember when they got married. He just couldn’t remember why.
9. Heather Mills says she’s so gorgeous she’s the next thing to Katie Holmes - looks just like Tom Cruise.
10. Naomi Campbell has more troubles. Decided to lose a few pounds and took some diet pills. It worked good! For 24 hours she didn’t eat a thing. She was too busy trying to figure out how to get off her roof.
